It's Not Forgotten
by out of the ashes
Summary: Dean wakes up with amnesia. Things get a little complicated after that. WINCEST. Brief mentions of Cas, but he's not the focus of this story.


Sam walked out of the motel bathroom shirtless, stray droplets of water dripping down his chest only to find his big brother sitting on the edge of his bed, wide eyed and panting.

"Hey, you okay?"

At first Sam thought his brother was fucking with him like he did from time to time, but Dean stared at him warily. "No. I don't remember a fucking thing. Where I am, who I am, what I fucking had for dinner last night, nothing. Blank slate," Dean said, getting panicked in a way Sam hadn't seen in a long time. "Did… did you do this? Did you _drug _me?"

Sam moved as fast as he dared, not wanting to spook Dean and sat across from him. He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. "I'm gonna figure out what this is, Dean. You're gonna be okay, I promise. And of course I didn't do this to you. Christ."

"I lost my fucking memory, genius. What do _you _think you can do? You gotta take me to a hospital so I can take my head checked out. I might not remember anything about my life, but m'not stupid. Who are you anyway? If you're not the one that did this to me? Are we," Dean stared at Sam's lips intensely, "you know. A thing? 'Cause you're pretty hot."

Sam yelped and scooted away from Dean. "We're brothers!"

"That's real funny, dude. Look, don't mess with me right now, okay? There's no way you and I are related."

"Excuse me?" Sam tried not to sound as offended as he felt. "Why would I lie about something like that? You _are _my brother, Dean. I'm Sam. You took me to school, taught me how to shoot a gun, practically raised me. We _are _brothers. Sam and Dean Winchester."

Dean frowned. "Okay… even if you're telling the truth, where's our parents? And why are we sharing a motel room?"

Sam shifted uncomfortably. "They're both, uh, dead. Mom died when I was a baby and dad… yeah, many years ago. And we share because it's cheaper and safer. We travel together."

"Uh-huh. Bummer about the parents, but the rest of it? Sounds pretty gay to me, man. I don't know what I felt before obviously. But now, when I look at you? I kinda just wanna know what you taste like."

"_Dean! _Jesus, you can't just _say _things like that." Sam sat down again, farther away this time. "S'not gay, man. You're totally into women."

Dean shook his head immediately. "There's no way I'm straight. Yeah, I'm sure I'm into chicks, but there's no doubt in my mind what I'm feeling right now."

Sam's face heated because _what the fuck. _"Wow. You're gonna be mortified when we get your memory back. And seriously? Ten minutes ago you thought I drugged you and now you're hitting on me? What's wrong with you? Besides the obvious."

"I make no apologies. You're the one walking around half naked."

Sam scrambled for a shirt, turning away from Dean's stare. It was doing funny things to his chest. "You really gotta stop it. We're brothers and that's… that's really fucked up."

There was a long sigh from behind him as he pulled his shirt on. "What do you want me to say? Sorry? I'm not. You're the first bit of human contact I've had since I've woken up and you don't _feel _like my brother."

"Yeah, well. At least keep those thoughts to yourself. I gotta focus on fixing you, not worry about if I need to put my big brother in a headlock."

* * *

After an entire day wasted of trying to figure out what had done this to his brother Sam was frantic. Cursed objects were a no-go, there weren't any weird deaths in the town that screamed of something supernatural. He had nothing, no real leads to go on.

He really, really hoped it wasn't a witch. Sam and Dean barely managed to escape them unscathed. If a witch had done this to Dean? They were pretty much fucked unless Sam could get Castiel's attention, which yeah, the angel wasn't answering his prayers. Not that he expected him to. Castiel had his own fight to worry about.

And Dean really wasn't taking the hint. He kept _looking _at Sam in this way that made him feel naked. Didn't seem to care that they were brothers if the way he kept licking his lips was any indication. It wasn't terrible though, at least Dean wasn't molesting him. Just… the looking was starting to drive Sam insane.

"Dude, you need to relax," came Dean's voice from way too close.

Sam shuddered and closed his laptop. "Yeah? What'd you have in mind?"

"Ordered pizza, thought we could kick back and watch a movie. Die Hard is playing on tv."

Oh God, Sam could _feel_ Dean's hot breath on the back of his neck. "Stop breathing on me!" Sam snapped, trying to sound pissed and not quite managing it. He took a deep breath. "S-sorry. That sounds awesome. Thanks."

"Sam, look at me."

Sam did and regretted it. His brother looked too fucking sad and Sam knew it was his fault. "I know I've been making you uncomfortable and for that I'm sorry. You don't deserve this, I'm being an asshole. I'm also thinking that… tomorrow you should take me to the hospital and leave me there."

Sam grabbed onto Dean without thinking. "What? Dean, no! That's not happening. We stay together."

"Yeah, well. Before it wasn't like this. Or at least I can't imagine it being like this before without me going me going crazy."

"You can't. I, I need you," Sam rasped, eyes prickling.

"I need you too, man. But, it's not the same way, is it?"

Sam didn't have a good answer.

* * *

They ate pizza and drank hard liquor in relative silence until the alcohol made Sam warm all over. He kept sending Dean lazy grins, forgetting the bullshit that'd been said earlier.

Dean looked pretty cute. His cheeks were all flushed apple-red, eyes sparkling in amusement. Sam wasn't sure if he was making fun of Sam or laughing with him and in that moment he didn't care.

He struggled to his feet and Dean eyed him with concern. "S-sam, what are you-"

"Shut up. Just. Let me do this."

"Let you do _what_?"

"Kiss you," he said simply.

"No, you can't-"

Sam's knees hit Dean's bed and he crawled up beside him. "I've wanted to, okay? I wanted to earlier, but I was afraid. If I give you what you're asking for now, when you remember you might hate me. And if I don't you'll leave for sure. So, just. Let me kiss you. Just, please. Don't leave."

"This better not be a kiss out of pity," Dean warned.

"It's not." Sam licked his lips and leaned forward, still on his hands and knees. After a few seconds he closed the distance between them, nipping at Dean's lips then soothing the bite with his tongue.

"A-ah, _fuck _yes!" Dean moaned and yanked Sam down on top of him, rolling his hips before running his fingers through Sam's hair and kissing him again. He kissed him like he was starving for him, for Sam and it made Sam's pulse hammer in his throat.

They started really getting into it after that, both of them growling and needy. Sam tugged at Dean's shirt. "Off," he hissed and Dean complied. Sam then set to work on kissing and licking Dean's freckles. They were _everywhere. _And Dean was so deliciously responsive, arching his body into every kiss.

Sam was just starting to work on Dean's pants when he heard a flutter of wings. And then Dean screamed. "What the fuck! What the actual fuck! Who are you? How did you get in here?"

_Oh, shit. _

Cas cleared his throat. "Dean. You do not remember me, but my name is Castiel. I'm an angel."

Dean fainted.

* * *

While Dean was out Castiel explained it all. How Dean had called to him before falling asleep the night prior so Cas had dreamwalked and found out that Dean wanted his memories removed. When Sam pressed as to what Dean's reasons were all Cas would say was that he was forbidden to tell him and he was sorry.

Sam demanded that Dean have his memories returned and after a very brief hesitation it was done. Castiel wished him good luck and vanished as quickly as he had come.

Sam didn't have to wait long for Dean to wake up. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" he growled. "Why would you do that to me? I, I wasn't in my right mind and you _kissed _me."

Sam bristled. "If I didn't you would have _left! _And what the fuck were you thinking exactly? Asking for your memories to be removed? Jesus fuck, Dean. Did you really think that was gonna end well?"

Dean slammed his fists on the bed. "I don't know, Sam! I thought it'd be better then what I was dealing with at the time. And now, fuck! Now it's so much worse. I can't believe this."

"Dean… you losing your memories made me realize something-"

"Don't. Don't say it."

"I love you."

Dean raked his fingers through his hair. "Dammit, Sam!" But he didn't look disgusted. No, he looked scared as hell.

"And you love me too, don't you? That's why you wanted your memories removed. But Jesus, Dean. What did you think? That I'd just let you go?"

Dean shrugged. "I dunno. And… fuck! Why you gotta make me talk about this shit? Yes, okay? Yeah. But you realize this can't happen again, right? It's fucked up, even for us."

Sam's heart plummeted, but it didn't last long. Hell, a day ago he never would have thought he'd kiss his brother and that was blown right out of the water.

Dean just needed some time to come around.

The next day when Dean snapped at Sam for staring at him too long Sam said it wasn't his fault because Dean was too pretty. Dean had barked out a warning, but it fell flat when Sam caught his eyes. Dean was blushing apple-red again, lips turned up in a half smile.

Yeah, Sam could wait for Dean to figure his shit out. He was more than worth it.


End file.
